Coaching for Leaders: A Crash Course
David VanDenburgh, D.Min., CLC, FCC
SECTION ONE
overview
THE HISTORY OF COACHING
“Coach” as a role probably derives from “coaché” – a carriage used for transportation – and connotes (as we will use it here) “to take someone from where they are to where they want to be.” (Collins, 2001, p. 14.)
Coaching is a relatively new profession. However, coaching as a skill and process is probably ancient. It is, in many ways, what enables one generation to “stand on the shoulders” of the preceding generation and move on to more complex skills and the solving of more difficult problems. Think, for example, of how succeeding generations of surgeons successfully attempt more complicated and risky surgeries because they were “coached” by their predecessors.
Simply stated, coaching is the highest form of personalized learning and personal evolution (i.e., “development”). Coaching turns information and inspiration into action and mastery. The number one product of coaching is clarity: clarity of intention, values, obstacles and assets.
While it has been labeled as the “missing link in self-help”, its features and roots are an amalgam of the following elements:
1. everyday conversations – emerging from our values, encouragements, inquiries, methods of supporting one another and giving feedback
2. human nature – namely, the natural desire to improve, learn, find a sense of purpose and succeed
3. sports psychology – the notion of bringing athletes from current performance to superior performance
4. leadership – seminars, facilitated workshops and other development programs of the 1980s built around 360o assessments and organizational leadership
5. education programs – training, lecturing, and self-guided learning programs with predetermined objectives and procedures
TYPES OF COACHING
• Business Coaching—in a variety of fields and areas.
• Executive Coaching—for specific skills, performance, career development, or executive’s agenda.
• Life Skills Coaching—to clarify values, visions, and goals; to keep focused and accountable, act as sounding board for ideas.
(Zeus & Skiffington, 2001, pp. 6-9.)
WHAT IS COACHING?
With regard to the industry, the modern overarching definition of coaching is ‘to bring a person from where they are to where they want to be.’
• Coaching is about sustained behavior change.
• Coaching supports, encourages, plans new ways of action and provides accountability to reinforce those new ways.
• Coaching remains an evolving “art” or profession as well as an evolving skill set.
(Zeus & Skiffington, 2001, p. 6.)
“Coaching is unlocking a person’s potential to maximize their own performance. It is helping them to learn rather than teaching them.”
(Whitmore, 2002, p. 8.)
More definitions of Coaching:
• Coaching is helping people decide where they want to go, how they want to get there, and how they want to be held accountable for it.
• Coaching helps people who want to close the gap in their lives between where they want to be and where they are.
• Coaching is playing the role of “co-pilot” to another’s “pilot”.
• Coaching is the act of empowering people toward their God-given greatness.
• Coaching is pastoring, and pastoring is “equipping the saints for the work of ministry” (Ephesians 4:12).
WHAT COACHING IS NOT
Training – focuses on fixed agenda Coaching – focuses on the client’s agenda
Management Consulting – concentrates on providing answers Coaching – concentrates on asking questions and evoking answers from the client’s own wisdom
Therapy – deals with healing or repairing something that isn’t currently functioning, usually something from the past Coaching – deals with pro-active, forward motion focused on the moment
Counseling – takes remedial approaches to repair deficits Coaching – emphasizes strengths and achievements to leverage growth and development
Mentoring – usually career focused, creates future behaviors based on the wisdom and expertise of someone other than the person being mentored, essentially one-to-one teaching Coaching – not exclusively career-focused, supports the wisdom of the client
“If you are looking for any of the following, you probably should not call a coach:
• Someone to fight your battles
• Someone to do your dirty work
• Someone to validate your bad habits
• Someone to console you because your mother clearly favors your sister.
Instead, coaches are committed to help you: explore your strengths, shore up your weaknesses, establish your goals and support you in your growth, all in an objective and non-judgmental way. It’s also important to note that coaching is not therapy.”
Jacki Summers
Gimme a C-O-A-C-H
Salon Today, May 2002
THE FLIP SIDES OF COACHING
IF IT IS NOT: THEN IT MUST BE:
Telling Listening
Directing Drawing Out or Asking
Being the Expert Holding Others as Capable
Micro-Managing Holding Others Accountable
Self-Promotion Advocating and Celebrating
WHERE DOES COACHING HAPPEN?
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
MOTIVATORS
Values and Meaning
Empowerment
Prestige
Community
Housing
Pay
THE ROLES OF A COACH
To:
Focus
Celebrate
Advocate
Align
Inspire
Refine
Challenge
Facilitate
Observe
Structure
Operate Ethically
Leadership Program Coaching
Graph of Life
How satisfied are you with different parts of your life? Circle a number from 1 to 10 next to each of the following areas of life. If you give an item a 1, you are completely dissatisfied with this part of your life. It means, “This part of my life is entirely unacceptable to me in its current state.” A number 10 means, “I couldn’t be happier or more satisfied with this area of life.”
Your overall satisfaction will change from day to day, but try to give an overall assessment of where you are at present. Skip any items that don’t apply to you.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Physical Health
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Mental/Emotional Health
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Educational Endeavors
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Career/Employment Satisfaction
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Financial Stability
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Marriage/Romantic Relationships
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Home Life (Immediate Family)
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Extended Family (Relatives, In-laws)
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Friends/Social Life
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Recreation/Relaxation
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Lifestyle (Degree of Busyness)
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Personal Life Fulfillment
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Personal Spiritual Life
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Church/Religious Life
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Physical Comfort (Housing, Neighborhood, Cars, etc.)
Please join your circles together to make a graph. Now go through this again and circle the numbers in terms of where you would like to be. Join these circles together to make a different graph. Use a different-colored pen or dotted lines so that you don’t get the graphs confused. Label each graph.
Adapted from (Collins, 2001, pp. 299-300.)
COACH TO THE GAP
WHAT HINDERS CLOSING THE GAP?
• Lack of clarity about goals
• Lack of commitment
• Inability to envision a preferred future
• Too many distractions
• Lack of resources
• The “GREMLIN”
KEEP IDENTIFYING AND CLOSING THE GAP!
Qualities of a Coach
1. A capacity for self-awareness and intuitiveness
a. Puts personal opinions, preference, pride, and ego of the coach aside
b. Foregoes need to look good and be right
c. Accepts feedback and criticism without defensiveness
d. Can be invisible
e. Remembers the direction of coaching alliance
f. Able to operate on a hunch, gut level, impression
g. Is in tune with own fears and anxieties about coaching process
2. A capacity to inspire others
a. Believes that clients are capable, resourceful, and have the answers they are seeking
b. Thinks of people in terms of their potential, not their problems
c. Hears client’s vision, values, and purpose
d. Acknowledges efforts and successes of client
e. Role models learning and growth
3. A capacity to build relationships
a. A good listener—content, meaning, mood, energy
b. Encourages client honest; makes a safe space to explore anything
c. Is non-judgmental
d. Maintains confidences
e. Allows client to discover own insights rather than telling
4. A capacity to be flexible
a. Adjusts to client’s pace of learning and change
b. Recognizes when to support and challenge
c. Varies coaching approaches according to client’s needs
5. A capacity to communicate
a. Asks powerful, provocative questions, in an open, inviting, almost playful manner. In so doing, this opens up places the client may otherwise be unwilling to go
b. Tells truth to client—stating what is seen
c. Is authentic and sincere
d. Elicits feedback from client
6. A capacity to be forward-looking
a. Emphasizes the present and future, not the past
b. Looks for results in shortest period of time
c. Helps client find stretch goals
d. Handles ambiguity positively, even when outcome is uncertain
7. A capacity for discipline
a. Focuses on action and learning.
b. Hold client accountable for follow through
c. Consistently holds belief that client is responsible
d. Keeps commitments to clients
8. A capacity to manage professional boundaries
a. Selects individuals appropriate for coaching process
b. Discerns when coaching is not progressing or when coaching is beyond the coach’s competence level
c. Keeps client’s goals and needs in focus
9. A capacity to diagnose issues and find solutions
a. Combines previous information with current information
b. Ability to explore resistance, fear, backtracking, “gremlin”
10. A capacity for business
a. Enthusiastic about the coaching product
b. Willing to take risks and enter into unknown
c. Has entrepreneurial spirit
d. Ability to articulate the values and benefits of coaching
(Zeus & Skiffington, 2001. pp. 23-31.)
(Whitworth, Kimsey-House, & Sandahl, 1998, pp. 9-18.)
Aptitude of a “Coachable” Client
• Open to personal learning and growth
• Willing to stay committed and engaged in coaching process
• Able to trust
• Willing to engage in non-reciprocal relationship
MINDSETS ABOUT COACHING
Winning Losing
A positive experience, great opportunity
An opportunity to develop professionally
Honesty is the best policy
Have an open mind
Desire to trust/healthy skepticism
Accepting
Proactive (you are the architect)
Vulnerability can lead to growth A negative experience, punishment
An opportunity to others off my back
This is a game to be played
Have a closed mind
Mistrustful
Rejecting
Passive (you are being done to)
Play it safe, defensive
(Grayson & Larson, 2000, p. 128.)
SECTION TWO
questions
THE ART OF ASKING QUESTIONS
Powerful questions, when guided by intuition and asked from genuine curiosity and respectful honesty, are a coach’s greatest assets.
As a coach, you will spend about 80% of each session listening. Your main goal while listening is to gain a greater comprehension of where the client is, and where they want to be. If you are doing most of the talking, you are not coaching – you are being coached. There’s an old saying among psychotherapists: “He who does the talking gets the therapy.”
HOW TO ASK QUESTIONS WELL:
1. Ask “how, what, when, where” questions rather than “why” questions.
• How, what, when, where etc. open-up
• Why questions can close-up
• Why questions can judge and offend
• Why denotes dominance
• Why questions can lead and manipulate
• Why often shuts the client down
2. Ask open-ended questions that elicit thought and exploration
3. Be genuinely curious: explore, stay free from assumptions and expectations, stay open to possibility, enjoy, wonder
4. Try to create an environment where the client can get his/her own answers; beware of leading the client through your questions to the place you want him/her to go
5. Listen from a position of curiosity and empathy.
Remember this:
”Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”
-- Stephen R. Covey
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
This calls for empathic listening:
Listen with the intent to understand rather than the intent to reply.
Avoid autobiographical comments such as, “I know just how you feel. I went through that same situation a year ago.”
Keep our need to be understood out of the picture. First, find out what needs, wants, feelings, dreams are waiting inside the client and seeking to be understood.
Empathic listening gets inside the other person’s frame of reference and takes a good long look at what is there.
The essence of empathic listening is not about agreeing with the client. It is deep understanding of the emotion and the thinking behind what the client is saying.
Empathic listening involves more than reflective listening. We use our ears yet listen with our hearts. We listen to hear both feeling and meaning.
Focus on the deep communication of the other person’s soul.
Empathic listening is deeply therapeutic and healing. It is like giving “psychological air” to someone who is gasping to be heard.
Once a person has been given “psychological air”, a need is met and they can start working on problem-solving or action.
When listening empathically, hear the words, notice the tone, match the energy, and hand back what you heard. Adjust as needed until you are fully aligned with what the client is saying.
Empathic listening can hear what isn’t said.
Listening empathically leads the client to a sigh of relief or some other release. Watch for the clues that tell you, “Bingo! You heard me!”
Empathic listening hears a need, a value, a desire.
The client hasn’t been fully understood until they feel understood.
POWERFUL QUESTIONS:
How do you define success?
What do you expect to get from coaching?
How willing are you to make changes in your life right now?
What do you suppose is keeping you blocked?
How can I best coach you?
What would you like to commit to doing this week?
What gifts and strengths do you bring to the table?
What are you good at?
What is your part? Or – where is your responsibility in this situation?
What is your first step?
What will achieving this goal give you?
What is your “end in mind”? (think Covey)
What do you see for yourself in 6 months?
What is it you are not saying yet?
How will the outcome benefit you?
How much is this taking away from your life?
What brings you peace of mind?
What if a miracle occurred and you woke up in the morning and the problem was solved: what is the first thing you would notice?
What can you do today to promote each of your values?
What should you not do today?
What did you learn today?
What’s the most important thing you could do to generate new results in your life?
What do you want?
What are you happy about?
What are you grateful for?
What have you given to others today?
What is your desired outcome?
What makes it so scary?
Where do we go from here?
How will you know?
What will that get you?
What is the truth?
What do you need to say “no” to?
A Form of Powerful Question is the Inquiry
These Can Be “Homework” for the Client:
What is it to have a rich, full life?
What is present when I’m at my best?
What am I resisting?
What am I unwilling to change?
How can I have this be easy?
Where am I giving up my power?
What do I need to do to step into my power?
Two of My Favorite Questions:
What do you want to do with this?
How is that working for you?
Theory “X” and Theory “Y”
McGregor’s Theory:
• Theory “Y” assumes the worker is willing to do the job without supervision, wants to achieve, is eager to contribute and participate. The employee can and will achieve goals without coercion.
• Theory “X” assumes the worker is lazy, needs constant supervision, dislikes work and avoids doing it. The employee must be threatened and punished or he/she will avoid responsibility. The employee seeks and needs constant direction.
Coaches view people according to Theory “Y”.
The main ingredient of great coaches is the innate ability to view people as capable! A great coach believes in the individual ability of making breakthrough results, even when there is zero evidence that breakthrough results will happen. When we take a stand for breakthroughs, we are on solid coaching ground.
HOW WILL YOU SHOW CLIENTS THAT YOU SEE THEM AS CAPABLE?
SECTION THREE
process
THE COACHING PROCESS
SECTION FOUR
process unpacked: step one
THE COACHING PROCESS
STEP 1: ENGAGE
“Who?”
Build a Partnership
Partnerships are built on trust.
The client must be convinced that your concern is for his concern, not your own concern.
The client is the “pilot”. The coach is only the “co-pilot”. The pilot decides where to go and how to get there. The co-pilot assists the pilot in whatever way the pilot wants him to.
If the client thinks that the coach is forcing the coach’s own agenda onto him, the client will probably terminate the coaching relationship – either overtly or covertly.
SECTION FIVE
process unpacked: step two
THE COACHING PROCESS
Step Two: DISCOVER
“What?”
Find the Client’s Focus
Move from:
To:
HOW DO WE FIND THE CLIENT’S FOCUS?
Begin to seek for the client’s focus. Use your questioning skills to follow the client’s agenda.
First, encourage DIVERGENT THINKING:
• “As you think about how best to use this coaching session, what types of things are important to you?”
• “How can I help?”
• “What areas of your life would you like to focus on during our coaching sessions?”
• “What is it you would like to accomplish?”
• “If money were not a factor, and you knew you couldn’t fail, what would you like to do with your life?”
• Consider using “mind-mapping”
Then, encourage CONVERGENT THINKING:
• When you sense that the client has exhausted his ideas and is ready to move forward
• “If you can only have one focus this week, what would it be?”
• “Which three areas would you like to work on for next session?”
• “What can we realistically focus on for right now?”
• “How much do you want to tackle to start with?”
• “Which of these items is most important and most relevant at this time?”
• “Which of these items would you like to tackle and report on for our next session?”
Then clarify the focus into an END IN MIND goal statement:
• “What will you have once you’ve accomplished this focus?”
• “How will it feel and what will it look like when you’ve reached this goal?”
• “Can you describe how things will be when you’ve completed this goal?”
• Find out: How much and By when
o Is the focus measurable?
o Is it specific?
o Is it relevant to the values, mission, vision of the client?
o Is the focus achievable?
• Have the client write or dictate what the focus is:
o “I will clearly define my role as pastor by the end of this week.”
o “I will formulate a strategy of how best to use these coaching sessions and share it with my coach on August 10th.”
o “I will create a prototype of a new community service program and fax it to my coach by May 5th.”
END IN MIND
(What, When, Where of the Focus)
MILESTONES
(Hunks and Chunks)
TASKS or ACTIVITIES
(Bites)
SECTION SIX
process unpacked: step three
CREATE
“How?”
Make a plan
The client is ready to create a plan that breaks the focus statement into hunks, chunks, and bites of work.
The following questions can help make the call to action:
• “This is a terrific focus. As you think about completing this goal, what types of things will you need to do?”
• “What steps will you need to take in order to meet this goal by this deadline?”
• “How are you going to accomplish your focus?”
• “How can we break this focus into bite-sized pieces?”
• “Great focus! How do you plan to get started?”
Facilitate the brainstorming by keeping the ideas flowing. You might pick the appropriate pause to interject such comments as:
• “Anything else?”
• “What else comes to mind?”
• “Can you think of any more ideas?”
Keep going until the client seems to be completely satisfied with his work.
ORDER THE TASKS IN A REASONABLE SEQUENCE
Once the client has listed the “hunks” of work necessary for accomplishing the focus, it is time to order these into a sequence.
Possible questions:
• “What sequence would you put these in?”
• “What comes first?” (second, third, etc.)
• “What order makes sense to you as far as accomplishing each big piece of work?”
• “What types of tasks will you need to accomplish in order to complete this portion of your goal?”
• “How will you break this chunk into smaller, bite-sized pieces?”
• “What steps will you need to take to accomplish this chunk of work?”
SET MILESTONES, DUE DATES AND DEADLINES
It isn’t doable until the client has decided to do it by a specific date.
Often clients get stuck by the overwhelming nature of the task. The coach needs to help them think about the next step and help them take the next step and commit to when they will take the next step.
SECTION SEVEN
process unpacked: step four
COMMIT
“When?”
Set Accountability
Recap the session, restating the commitment.
Finish up the session with extreme confidence in the client.
• “You’ve done some great work during this session! I can’t wait to see what you do with your plan.”
• “So, just to make sure that I know what to check on next week: You want to have three chapters read and your vision statement written. Is that correct?”
• “Wow! I’m impressed with your plan. I expect great things are going to happen.”
• “You’ve come up with some powerful assignments. Just to make sure I’m on track for next session, review with me your commitments for this week and the due dates.”
• “I know you can do everything you’ve outlined. How would you like me to be supportive this week?”
• “You’ve completed a ton of work in this session. Quickly tell me your commitments and how you want me to hold you accountable when we chat again.”
Clients often hire a coach because they seek accountability and responsibility.
Clients are far more committed to goals they design and far more responsive to accountability measures they create.
KEEPING MOMENTUM
A major coaching function is to help the client keep momentum. This is usually done at the beginning of the next coaching session, or between sessions through “quick calls”.
Three simple steps can be used to forward the action:
• Report and Celebrate
o “So far, what are you most proud of on this project?”
o “Wow! You have kept your commitment and nailed that piece of the project. Congratulations! You need to celebrate that!
• Look and Learn
o “What have you learned so far?”
o “Do you know something about yourself that you didn’t know before?”
o “What would you say has been the most valuable lesson in this?”
• Improve and Commit
o “Do you see ways that you can improve your performance for next time?”
o “What opportunity or challenge would you like to commit to for the next week?”
o “When would you like to share with me your achievements towards this goal?”
When the client makes a commitment and asks you to hold her accountable, write it into your calendar and don’t forget to ask about it on the scheduled day.
IDENTIFY OBSTACLES
Ask:
• “What types of things might keep you from following this plan?”
• “What are the top three things that could get in your way of accomplishing your focus this week?”
• “What could get in your way this week?”
MOBILIZE RESOURCES
Ask:
• “If this obstacle should arise this week, how would you handle it?”
• “Where would you turn for help if you needed it?”
• “If things don’t go easily this week, what will you do to overcome the obstacles in your way?”
KEEP IDENTIFYING THE GAP
&
COACH TO THE GAP
SECTION EIGHT
leadership coaching
Introduction to Christian Leadership Coaching
As your coach, my only concern is that you reach your goals.
If you don't have any goals to reach, then you don't need a coach.
If you can reach all your goals by yourself, then you don't need a coach.
But if you have goals that you haven't been successful in reaching, then you can use a coach.
Coaches help people make the changes they want to make in order to reach the goals they want to reach, do what they want to do, and become what they want to be.
To change, you must:
1. Determine where you are
2. Determine where you want to be
3. Determine how to get there
Your coach will "coach to the gap": he will help you close the gap between where you are and where you want to be.
He will do this by helping you:
1. Identify the resources you have available to you to help you get where you want to be
2. Identify the obstacles you have to overcome to get where you want to be
3. Set intermediate goals that will get you to where you want to be
4. Make commitments that will help you reach your intermediate goals and, ultimately, get you to where you want to be
5. Keep those commitments
6. Stay focused
7. Avoid discouragement
8. Increase motivation
Coaching is not counseling. Your coach doesn't really care about your past; he cares about your future. Your coach doesn't really care why you are the way you are; he cares about how you can become the best you can be. If you need counseling, the coach will probably suggest you go get it and return to coaching when you are healthier.
Coaching is not consulting. The coach is not an expert in your field. You are the expert in your field. The coach is there to help you use your expertise to get where you want to go. He doesn't know all the answers; he knows the questions to ask to help you find the answers that you need.
360-degree Assessment
A "360-degree Assessment" is an evaluation instrument that compiles opinions from observers who know the person being assessed from perspectives "above", "below", and "around" - ie, as the "manager" of, "direct report" to, and "peers" who are co-workers with the person being assessed.
The report generated by this 360-degree assessment gives the person being assessed a picture of how others see him. The person being assessed may or may not like or agree with what the observers say, but the picture shows him how the observers experience him.
Some people are unable to receive feedback from others. They really don't want to know how others see them - even though they might say that they do. When they see what others say about them, they are offended, get defensive, argue, deny, explain.
Wise leaders want to know how others see them. From this information they can decide whether they want to keep or change their behaviors. They know that honest feedback is one of the greatest gifts other people can give them. Others often experience us differently than we experience ourselves. If they will tell us how they experience us, we can decide whether the way we are behaving is working well for us or whether it needs to be altered.
Your coach will help you to understand the 360-degree assessment and will assist you in choosing what behaviors you might want to change in order to become a better leader.
Your coach will also help you to enlist some of the people who gave you the feedback in helping you to make those changes. This will have the added value of ensuring that they recognize the changes you make.
Identifying the Behaviors You Want to Change:
Most people find the results from their 360-degree assessment disturbing. We are all pretty much the same in this: One negative outweighs one hundred positives in our minds. Your coach will help you understand your 360-degree feedback and recognize the positives.
Every successful leader is successful because of some things he/she does and in spite of some other things he/she does. What you want to do is enhance and strengthen the because of behaviors and eliminate or reduce the in spite of behaviors. (Most of us don't so much need to start doing some things, we need to stop doing some things.) The 360-degree feedback will help you know which behaviors are which.
After you have had a little time to reflect, your coach will ask you to identify the behaviors you want to work on to develop. He will want to discuss with you what the behavioral goal will be for the upcoming year. He will help you to refine and sharpen your focus so that your goal will be specific, observable and measurable. Some leadership skills are made up of two or three interrelated behaviors; your coach will help you determine what these are. You will make the ultimate decision on just what you want to work on.
Some of your leadership behaviors are probably working well for you. These you will want to keep and strengthen.
Some of your leadership behaviors are probably not working well for you. These you will want to change.
Your work for the next twelve months will be to change those behaviors that you want to alter. Your coach will work with you to make sure you are successful in actually doing that. You will always be in the "pilot's seat"; your coach will always be in the "co-pilot's seat".
Choosing Stakeholders:
The work of improving leadership behaviors involves more than just you and your coach. There are other people who are stakeholders in your leadership success. You are going to enroll them in helping you to be successful. In a sense, they will become your "coaches" in making the behavioral changes that you have decided to make in order to be a better leader.
Not willing to enroll others in your success? Then you are not a candidate for Christian Leadership Coaching!
Leadership success is not a "Lone Ranger" enterprise! We need others. Leadership is a relationship. Effective leaders have high credibility and they get it by modeling trust. Trust means honesty, authenticity, vulnerability, consistency. Effective leaders involve others in their success.
Ready to choose stakeholders who will help you achieve your leadership goals? Good! Read on!
Some of the behaviors you choose to change are mostly relevant to your "direct reports". You will want some of these "direct report" on your stakeholder team.
Some of the behaviors you choose to change are mostly relevant to your "peers". You will want some of them on your stakeholder team.
The idea here is to ask people who will help you get where you want to go. Include some people who are not part of your "fan club". Choose people who will give you good honest feedback. Stakeholders should be well acquainted with your leadership performance; they see you in action.
How many stakeholders do you need? About 12-14. Not less than eight.
These people are going to be essential to your successful leadership development. Your coach will help you to choose them. Be sure to choose them well.
Enrolling Stakeholders:
The first thing you are going to do after choosing whom your stakeholders will be is to set up a stakeholders meeting or teleconference, either with the whole group of stakeholders at one time or with each stakeholder personally.
The purpose of this meeting is to ensure that the stakeholders are clear on what you will be working on to improve during the year and to ask them to actively participate in ongoing feedback and suggestions.
Your coach will rehearse this meeting with you and help you understand what to do and what not to do. (See the Encouraging Development: Do's and Don'ts section for a look-ahead.)
Asking for Feedback & Feedforward:
Why don't we ask for feedback more often? The number one reason is: We are afraid of what we are going to hear, whether we know what we are going to hear or not. For example: we delay going to the doctor for a physical; we postpone going to the dentist; and we wait to ask for feedback on how we are doing as leaders.
The bottom line is: Asking for feedback takes courage!
Feedback, however, is of limited value. It tells you how you have been doing (past tense), which is of some value in helping you to shape your future actions, but it is backward-looking, not forward-looking, and coaching always prefers looking forward.
In this coaching process, therefore, we will also be making use of "feedforward." "Feedforward" is a term coined by Marshall Goldsmith, premier executive coach, to describe a category of suggestions about how a leader can do something better. Feedforward is forward-looking. Feedforward is ideas about how you might get where you want to go, as opposed to ideas about how you got where you are (feedback). If the term "feedforward" bothers you, replace it with the term "suggestions."
Your coach will help you learn an effective model for asking for feedback and feedforward/suggestions.
Keys to Real and Lasting Improvement:
There is a proven process for changing leadership behaviors. Your coach will help you learn and use this process. Here's a brief introduction to the process. You will want to come back here and review this frequently.
1. Ask
• Ask stakeholders for feedback
• Send a message that you value their opinion
• Communicate your desire to improve
2. Listen
• Listen to what stakeholders have to say
• Try not to evaluate whether they are "right" or "wrong", simply accept their opinions as their perception of reality
• Avoid trying to defend your actions
3. Thank
• Express your appreciation for the feedback
• Recognize that it may take courage on their part to give you feedback
• An immediate "thank you" reinforces the process
4. Think
• Think about stakeholder input before reacting
• Avoid over-reacting
• Under-commit and over-deliver (ie, more than keep commitments)
5. Respond
• Respond to the stakeholders who have you feedback
• Let people know the areas where you plan to change
• Keep it simple: do not try to change too many behaviors
6. Involve
• Recruit stakeholders to help you as you try to change
• Ask them if they have any further suggestions
• Include them in providing ongoing feedback and support
7. Change
• Find ways to remind yourself of your area of change
• Do something about the feedback/feedforward
• Monitor your own behavior on a timely basis
8. Follow-Up
• Check in with stakeholders on a repetitive basis
• Ask them if they think that you are changing
• Continue to use steps 2 through 6 when following-up
Encouraging Development Steps
Do Not Do
Step 1: Ask
• Wait for a better time
• Act skeptical or doubtful
• Put yourself down • Be concise
• Be specific
• Be positive
Step 2: Listen
• Use “No”, “But”, or “However”
• Make excuses
• Exhibit impatience or anger • Pay undivided attention
• Capture what is said
• Clarify/Confirm what you heard
Step 3: Thank
• Use a dejected tone
• Act artificial
• Be insincere • Say “Thank you” quickly
• Use first name (unless inappropriate)
• Be genuine
Step 4: Think
• Engage in “delusional” thinking
• Prove the input is wrong
• Validate “This is the way I am” • Assess benefits of changing
• Assess cost of changing
• Decide if it is worth it
Step 5: Respond
• Critique feedback/feedforward
• Respond to too many things
• Over-commit • Be brief
• Be positive
• Be future-focused
Step 6: Involve
• Stick with your fan club
• Expect instant help
• Take up too much of their time • Include as many as you can
• Keep the process upbeat
• Vary involvement as needed
Step 7: Change
• Procrastinate
• Give in to “feeling like a phony”
• Expect instant success • Break the “elastic limit”
• Maintain momentum
• Make change visible
Step 8: Follow Up
• Dwell on the past
• Become complacent
• Brag, gloat, show off • Politely push for specifics
• Reinforce the process
• Check your ego at the door
© 2003 Frank Wagner, Chris Coffey & Marshall Goldsmith (used by permission)
You have been successful...
... in ASKING when others see you as:
• Choosing the behavior you will improve
• Wanting to change the behavior
• Working on something important to you
... in LISTENING when others see you as:
• Wanting their input
• Paying undivided attention
• Genuinely hearing their message
... in THINKING when others see you as:
• Appreciative of the feedback/feedforward
• Taking their input seriously
• Willing to respond, once having an opportunity to reflect
... in RESPONDING when others see you as:
• Appreciative of help from all stakeholders
• Committed to improve
• Confident you will improve
... in INVOLVING when others feel they:
• Contributed to your development
• Have been acknowledged for helping
• Want to continue helping
... in CHANGING when others see you:
• Actively working on what you committed to improve
• Demonstrating success
• Not likely to return to your old habits
... in FOLLOWING-UP when others see you:
• Eager to gain stakeholders insight
• Actually learning from the experience
• Producing measurable results
The Importance of Using Your Stakeholders:
Your stakeholders can be invaluable in their role as "on-site" coaches for you. They see you in action on a regular basis. They have a stake in your success that makes your success their success. You can access them almost any time. They are free!
There is an additional, very important, aspect of using your stakeholders: As they "coach" you, they learn how committed you are to leadership improvement. This has two important benefits: (1) They learn to take personal development seriously for themselves by seeing you model it; (2) They learn that you actually are making changes so they don't keep you locked into old stereotypes. It does little good to work hard to change a behavior if people don't notice and credit you with the change. If you use your stakeholders, not only will the change take place quicker and easier, but they will notice - something they may not do if they are not involved in the process.
So, use your stakeholders!
Mini-Surveys:
At approximately the 5-6 month milestone, and again at the 11-12 month milestone, we will do a "mini-survey" to measure your progress toward your goal. The "mini-survey" is a very short online assessment instrument (much, much shorter than the 360-degree instrument used at the beginning of the coaching process). Your stakeholders will go online, complete the mini-survey for you by answering a few questions about their perception of your progress in the area you have chosen to work on, and the results will come to your coach who will sit down with you and review your progress. No one else will receive a copy of your results.
You will need to prepare an e-mail or other personal message preparing your stakeholders to look for the invitation to provide their online feedback to the mini-survey. A sample message is available for you to download
APPENDIX
The Six-Question Process:
Helping Executives Become Better Coaches
by Marshall Goldsmith
Published in Insights, Winter, 2002
Executives and Coaching: Fears and Realities
In my work with senior leaders, I have found that one of the most common complaints of direct reports is that their executives do a poor job of providing coaching. This perception has been validated in reviewing the 360∞ feedback scores for executives in 30 major corporations. The item "provides effective coaching when needed" consistently scores in the "bottom 10" of all items when direct reports evaluate their executives.
There are several reasons why executives tend to do a poor job of coaching. One reason is that executives manage knowledge workers. Peter Drucker’s definition of a knowledge worker is "someone who knows more about what they are doing than their boss does". One CEO that I coached was surprised that his direct reports wanted any coaching from him. He asked, "How can I be expected to coach them, when they already know ten times more about what they are doing than I do?"
At the executive level, few direct reports want detailed instructions on how to do their work. What they do want is ongoing communication with their executives concerning the "big picture", how their work is making a difference and suggestions on how they can improve.
A second reason that executives tend to avoid coaching is that they are busy. If executives view coaching as a complex and time-consuming process, they won’t do it! Their direct reports are usually as busy as they are. Executives are justifiably sensitive about how they spend their time and the time of their colleagues.
Fortunately direct reports (at the executive level) seldom want or need coaching to be a time-consuming process. They tend to prefer regular "reality checks" to make sure that they are heading in the right direction. Frequency of interaction is often more important than duration of interaction. They also want to have the freedom to ask for help or clarification when they need it.
A third reason that executives avoid coaching is that they are afraid of alienating their direct reports. In general, the higher people rank in the organizational hierarchy, the more expensive they are to replace. In many cases, executives manage people who are financially independent and can find another job if they are dissatisfied. The organization needs not only the knowledge of these people; it needs their commitment. Alienating people near "the top" can be a very expensive mistake. This fear of alienation is not totally unjustified. A review of research on successful people indicates that they tend to over-rate their own performance (relative to their peers) and that they tend to resist feedback that is inconsistent with their self-image .
The "good news" is that while successful people tend to resist negative feedback about the past, they almost always respond well to positive suggestions for the future. By focusing on the future, executives can help direct reports be "right" tomorrow, as opposed to proving they were "wrong" yesterday. Effective coaches can generally cover what they need to say by focusing on the future (as opposed to dwelling on the past). Executives who use the Six-Question process almost always get dramatically higher scores from direct reports (one year later) on the item, "Provides development feedback in a timely manner." Interestingly enough, this approach does not focus on feedback; it concentrates on suggestions!
The Six-Question Process
The Six-Question process for coaching is an approach that I have seen work consistently well with executives. This process has produced measurable change in effectiveness (as evaluated by direct reports) with three CEOs that I have personally coached. These CEOs were in totally different industries and worked with very different types of people. One CEO went from an 8 percentile to a 98 percentile score (in four years) doing nothing more than this process. Even better, he found that he actually spent less time with this direct reports the year he was rated a "98" than the year he was rated an "8"! This process has also been shown to produce positive results in the summary 360∞ feedback reports from executive teams.
In using the Six Question process, it is generally recommended that the executive have a one-on-one dialogue with each direct report approximately once each quarter. In most cases the initial dialogues may take more time, but the process generally lasts about 30 minutes after the first couple of sessions. The "rules" of the process are very simple. Both parties are asked to: 1) make each question a dialogue, not a dictate, 2) focus on the future, not the past and 3) listen to the other person’s ideas, try to implement what they can and not try to "prove" the other person is wrong.
1. Where are we going?
The first question deals with the "big picture". The executive outlines where the larger organization is going in terms of vision, goals and priorities. The executive then asks the direct reports where they think the larger organization should be going. By involving direct reports in this ongoing dialogue, executives can build alignment and commitment to the larger organizational vision.
It is important to note that the Six-Question approach does not assume that the executive will agree with every direct report on every issue. This will not (and should not) be the case. Leadership is not a "popularity contest". Sometimes direct reports (like all humans) may have bad ideas. In some cases the executive may choose to say, "In this case, I disagree." It is important that executives focus on understanding disagreements and respecting differences of opinion. It is also important that executives need to only "win the big ones" and that they can "let go" on minor issues that may be more important to their direct reports than to them.
2. Where are you going?
Question two deals with the direct reports’ vision, goals and priorities for their part of the organization. Direct reports discuss where their part of the organization is going. Executives give their view on where they think this part of the organization should be going. By the end of this discussion two types of alignment should have been achieved: 1) the vision, goals and priorities of the direct reports’ parts of the organization should be aligned with the executives’ vision of the larger organization and 2) the individual goals and priorities of executives and direct reports should be aligned.
3. What is going well?
One key element of effective coaching is providing positive recognition for achievement. Executives begin this part of the dialogue with an assessment of what the direct reports and their organizations are doing well. Then executives ask their direct reports a question that is seldom asked, "What do you think that you and your part of the organization are doing well?" By asking this question executives may learn about "good news" that may have otherwise been missed.
In the past five years, I have asked hundreds of executives the question, "Do you feel as busy or busier today than your have felt in your entire life?" About 80% of the executives that I have asked have said yes. A major reason that executives fail to give deserved recognition to direct reports is not maliciousness; it is ignorance. Many executives are so busy that they don’t know all the good things that the people who report to them are doing.
Direct reports may feel under-appreciated because executives don’t recognize their achievements. In many cases, the executives would recognize these achievements if they only understood what they were! By asking, "What are you doing well?" executives have a great opportunity to understand positive aspects of performance that they could have otherwise missed. This process has been shown to consistently improve direct reports’ feedback on the item, "Provides positive recognition for achievement."
4. What are key suggestions for improvement?
Executives begin this part of the dialogue by giving direct reports constructive suggestions for the future. These suggestions should be limited to key "opportunities for improvement". The average human cannot remember eight unrelated words on a piece of paper! Giving too many suggestions is almost as bad as giving none. Direct reports should listen to the suggestions with a focus on understanding, not judging what is being said. Executives should come across as "trying to help" not "playing God".
Next, executives should ask another (seldom-asked) great coaching question, "If you were your own coach, what suggestions would you have for yourself?" By listening to their direct reports, executives may learn that their original coaching suggestions need to be modified. Executives may end up saying, "Now that I have heard your ideas, let me change my suggestions. I think the areas that you are discussing are more important than the ones that I mentioned."
5. How can I help?
As you have gathered from this article, a key to effective coaching is asking the right questions. One of the greatest coaching questions an executive can ask is, "How can I help?" Executives can begin by listening to their direct reports’ suggestions on how they can become more helpful. They can also participate in the dialogue by suggesting approaches and then asking, "Do you feel this approach will help you become more effective?"
In some cases executives who receive poor feedback as coaches attack the problem by simply spending more time coaching. This can do more harm than good. The key to improvement is not to do more coaching. The key is to provide coaching to the right people on the right topics. In some cases less coaching in some areas may be what is needed! By asking executives can make the most effective use of their limited time.
6. What suggestions do you have for me?
Extensive research on the impact of direct report feedback and follow-up on leadership effectiveness has shown a clear, undeniable pattern. Leaders that ask for suggestions from direct reports, focus on improving 1-2 key behaviors and follow-up on a quarterly basis are almost always seen as dramatically increasing in leadership effectiveness . By asking, "What suggestions do you have for me?" executives change the dynamics of the coaching process. Traditional coaching is sometimes thought of as a one-way monologue that focuses on, "Let me tell you what you can do to improve." The Six-Question approach creates a two-way dialogue that focuses on, "Let’s try to help each other." Direct reports are much more willing to be coached by executives, if the executives are willing to be coached by them!
In-Between Coaching Sessions
Executives should not limit their coaching interactions to quarterly Six-Question sessions. At the end of each session executives should say, "I am going to take the responsibility to make sure that I have a dialogue with you at least once each quarter. I am going to take the responsibility to cover what I think is most important and to get your suggestions on what you think is most important. I would like you to take the responsibility to contact me at any time you have a need for my help. I cannot promise I will be able to schedule this immediately. I can promise I will make your request a top priority. If I take the responsibility for our quarterly dialogues and you take the responsibility for any ongoing issues, there is no reason that our coaching relationship should not be very productive."
A key to effective two-way coaching is mutual responsibility. The organizational survey in one of my "Fortune 100" clients pointed out an interesting dilemma. Direct reports criticized their executives for not providing help when it was needed. Executives said that direct reports never asked for help! If the direct reports take the responsibility to ask for coaching (when needed) and the executives take the responsibility to be responsive and helpful, there is a high probability that the entire process will work.
Summary
In summary, the Six-Question Process for feedback and coaching is a practical tool that executives can use to become more effective coaches. The six questions are merely meant as broad guidelines. In some cases a Five-Question or Seven-Question approach may be better suited to a particular situation. Executives should be flexible in tailoring this process to fit their unique situations. The key to success is for both executives and direct report to cover the most important topics on a regular basis and to be available to each other for special situations. From my experience few direct reports need or want more coaching than this.
The CEO mentioned earlier (who went from "worst to first" as a coach) made an interesting observation. He said, "Before this process, I thought that I was giving my direct reports what they needed. Unfortunately, my direct reports could not tell the difference between coaching and a social conversation. They were not differentiating between critical feedback and ‘chit-chat’. If I said, ‘You are doing a great job’ they didn’t know if I was serious or just ‘being nice’. This process has given me a simple discipline to give them what they need (and give me what I need) in a way that respects my time and theirs." This is the end result of effective coaching.
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